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GOTTA HAVE A TWIST
Hollywood is exciting to say the least. I finally heard from that Executive Producer. He called asking for script changes and for me to do some rewrites right quick. I didn’t mind that he called, of...
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INDIGO
Indigo just wasn’t gonna have it. She’d been working too hard for too long, and without any contribution from her Joebob either. LETCH! The grandkids had been having all sorts of problems and drama,...
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GO WHERE I WENT
Every once in a while I enjoy a good exercise in futility. Apparently. While others are busy making the same old tried and true resolutions, I’m sitting here taking punches and driving around in...
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THE MONKEY AND THE HARE
The man walked into the convention hall, his first trade show, and was excited. The vendors were mostly educators and up and coming authors and illustrators, and although not the man’s stock-in-trade...
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EARWORM
I have terrible earworm. You remember they talked about that on the radio last week? That’s when something pops into your brain like a hit song from years ago that you haven’t heard in like forever...
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WAILING
I had a dream about you last night. That’s not unusual. I’ve told you about those times when I’ve dreamt of you in the past- the odd plot lines or humorous circumstances where your face has shown up or...
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PERCY
Was I ever gonna learn not to fall into the same pattern? It never failed, over and over. I’m the guy that always overestimated people, gave them too much credit. I’m the great encourager. And every...
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TUNDRA
She’s cold. Frigid. And that’s not an innuendo, just an apt word to describe her. When she smiles it’s with frozen lips, which only complement her icy stare. Everything about her is chilly. Not warm in...
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ACME PLUMBLING
Are you having plumbing problems? Acme’ll send a guy over to root and unclog your pipes. We’ll remove all obstructions and free you up good as new. When’s the last time you had them cleaned out? Feels...
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THICK AS A BRICK
My husband is so mad at me. Again. I oughta be used to it by now, but he’s really starting to grate on my last nerve. Today it was the weatherman that got him all riled up. “Being wrong again,” is how...
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LOOK AT ME
I know how much you love me. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here. You can spend time with me now or later. Whenever. But I can tell by the way you’re looking at me you want to...
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GAGA FAN
A Lady Gaga fan made fun of me, trying for under her breath, when I told the cashier in the grocery store I’m a huge Muppets fan. Now I of course have been and am a fan of many things, far and wide....
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HOMELESS NEWS
Of all the wacky things we thought Facebook might roll out for its ninth birthday, Homeless News most coveted the replacement of the Like button with the YAY! button. Facebook’s been flat. The Like...
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BUZZ KILL
Fixated. On oddities. From time to time, strange little things. I face them head on when they come up. Then they go away. Until they rear their ugly heads again. They always do. Know what I mean? I...
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HIGH RIDGE AREA FOOD BANK
Brenda has lived out in the county for over twenty years. Her ex-husband hasn’t worked in over two, leaving her with no child support for her three young children. She’s struggled to keep up with the...
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COMPLICATIONS
“No I work two other part-time jobs too- one of them cleaning houses and the other picking up people’s garbage.” “Oh so like you’re a garbage woman? You ride around on the back of a truck for the...
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CHECKOUT LINE
“You use humor as a defense mechanism,” she said. “No, actually I use it offensively.” The cashier asked for and scanned his Shrewd Shopper Discount Card. “The pizza’s two-for-one Sir.” “How so?” She...
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HOMELESS NEWS SPRING PLEDGE DRIVE
This just in: Arthur Delaney of the Huffington Post reports that the U.S. Labor Department announced that “the economy has been steadily adding jobs, pushing the unemployment rate down to 7.5 percent...
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MOUSSAKA
“I’m really mad at you, don’t you feel bad about that?” The waiter took away her menu. She ordered the moussaka, here where she says it reminds her the most of the moussaka her grandma used to make...
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COINSTAR
Around 6am I went to the grocery store to use the Coinstar as I’m known to do and it was out of order. I jokingly and with feigned indignation dropped my tupperware of coins on the counter in front of...
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LIFE AS AN AESTHETE
Published in the Piker Press Harry was upstairs in the bedroom with the door locked. Like usual. He’d just returned yesterday from his eighth-grade camping trip, and while the very thought of having to...
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TANGO
The garbagemen aren’t bad people. Neither are the ones who work behind the pharmacy counter. Nor the guy you said was going too slow on that downtown street where the speed limit’s twenty-five. I think...
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NOT NIHILISTIC in The Dead Mule School Of Southern Literature
Published in The Dead Mule School Of Southern Literature It’s a common thing around here. Family cemeteries in people’s backyards or somewhere on their land. On land that’s been passed down from...
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LEMMING in the Piker Press
Published in The Piker Press You’d think he woulda learned his lesson. But no. It was 2AM and he heard his cell phone ringing and started to feel around under the covers and his pillow to find it. Who...
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MEET JOHN TAYLOR
I enjoy silly string more than the average person. I laughed when Anderson Cooper got scared by the fake Bigfoot. The lady in the library’s smug for some reason. They’re mowing down trees and building...
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GOOD FATHER
I had a dream about my dad last night. Well it was a fuzzy dream, you know. He was in it or as it is in that REM type of dreaming, the thought and vague impression of him was there. The presence of...
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THAT’S HOW MUCH
She walked over with my gin & tonic. She was in way too skimpy an outfit. I put five dollars on the table and looked at her with what I hoped was an appealing expression. “You keep the change, I...
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YOU KNOW IT
We made way into the living room fashionably late, where hors d’oeuvres were laid out on the coffee and end tables, and soft music was playing courtesy of a harpist- a very atmospherically appealing...
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THERE IS NO CURE
Jacob sat in the doctor’s office waiting. He was filled with worry and was fed up. His symptoms had only worsened and been keeping him up at night too. When he called on Tuesday for an appointment and...
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THINGS TO ASK GOD
I am unwell. And crazy too. Well crazy in the best sense mostly, but to say insane would be a stretch. Well there’s not an appropriate word to describe it really. I should make up my own. Who says I...
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CURSED
Hector felt like he was getting bedsores. But just turning over was a huge chore, exhausting. And he was in the hospital anyway, isn’t that what you’re supposed to do there? Stay in your bed trying to...
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NANTUCKET
Dear Bitsy, Your behavior last night was abhorrent. You hit a few too many Cosmopolitans there eh girl? How many times have I told you you can’t hold your liquor like you used to? Those days are gone...
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LUNCHBOX
I put a surprise cookie in your lunchbox today. I tucked it underneath the black peppered turkey sandwich I made for you. The one on the 13-grain whole wheat bread you love so much, with the cajun...
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COOP
No one cared much anymore. The usual suspects who would have caused a ruckus in the past were quiet- evidence of how times had changed. All the former chatter about a “homosexual agenda” now seemed...
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GYPSY HILL
Published in the January Piker Press I spend most of my mornings sitting on a park bench. A particular one in Gypsy Hill Park. Now that I’ve quit the rat race and been off the treadmill for awhile,...
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SAND
I’ve looked at you and agonized for days. I really just need to get away from here. You’re so beautiful, yet infinitely frustrating. And you SUCK all the life from me. I’m deflated. Do I have to do...
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THE DEL MUNDO
It was a cold dark night, yes that. Flamenco Street, around 1:ooam. The cafes were closing, and the only sound was Jaime’s boots as they hit the cobblestone street. It hadda be winter of course. The...
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THINGS BEHIND YOU
(I’ve caused so much damage in the past. It’s come back to haunt me, no TERRORIZE me. Along with unforeseen events. Some things you can’t foresee, right? I know God is punishing me and not letting me...
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THE NIGHT GOT OLD
They’d been together for a while and though Betsy felt they got along well enough, she couldn’t put her finger on why she still felt so empty. Was it the carefree way they drove down the road and he...
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BAY LEAVES
“Well doc, I think I might take down the bay leaves, that’s a start. I know it’s not a New Year’s resolution per se, but a whole ‘nother year of looking at them isn’t gonna do me a hill of beans of...
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DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE
Marty hadn’t seen his father since the big blow up. That was almost three years ago. Blow up doesn’t even do justice to how embarrassing and pathetic a scene it really was. But wasn’t that how it...
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WHERE I’M GOING I’LL STAY in The Piker Press
The Piker Press Hey, I thought about you and it was quiet and measured and a nice harkening back. I thought about you and feel in my heart I can forgive you. I wish I could’ve sooner. I just need you...
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WATERLINE
They were told this is where Grandpa used to fish. Over the years, the twins heard many stories about him. They were so young when Grandpa passed. The brothers were four then. Grandma said he came...
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PURE SHIKSA
A young girl in fishnet stockings walked by, as in too young for us. Not particularly exotic looking- maybe Italian, could be Jewish. Sometimes you just can’t tell. I raised my eyebrows and looked at...
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HEART LINE
“I told you it was bad.” “Yeh but it’s okay. I don’t mind being here, staying with you.” Laura picked up the pitcher of iced tea from the nightstand and freshened his glass. “I can get more ice and...
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THE WINDFALL
It hadda be kismet. How else to explain it? As I looked out the window and saw my father hobbling down the walkway toward my front door, I could only shake my head. Boy he’s got some nerve. And after...
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I REMEMBER YOUR SMILE
And it’s beautiful. I remember a time when I would see it quite often, and now that I think about it, I certainly took it for granted back then. Otherwise why would I be sitting here talking about it...
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HOMELESS NEWS: THE LEVANT
Homeless News is back and UP to the minute and ahead of the curve here. HN reports that now that the war in Iraq is back on, prepare to be inundated with pundits and politico talking-heads once again...
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HOMELESS NEWS: LOVE YOUR ENEMIES
Homeless News reports the Reverend Jesse Lee Peterson, President and Founder of The Brotherhood Organization of a New Destiny says, “Since feminists have gone unchallenged for decades, many have become...
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SCRAPPER
He was nervous. He had put so much heart and thought into actually meeting her, the fact that it was happening was literally off-putting. A whirlwind of emotion and glee. His...
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